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In December 2023, Billie Eilish stepped onto the Variety Red Carpet to discuss her hit song ‘What Was I Made For?’ from the ‘Barbie’ movie. While in an interview, she was asked about her sexuality, referencing an interview she had done prior where she discussed her being attracted to women. An uncomfortable Billie Eilish answered the question precariously, seeming unsure of how to answer the question. Later that day, she posted a picture on Instagram with the caption, “thanks variety for my award and also outing me on a red carpet at 11 am instead of talking about anything else that matters i like boys and girls leave me alone about it please literally who cares…” Though the intention of the interview might not have been to out Eilish, a greater question has been raised in our minds in the culture of celebrity… why do we feel the need to know the details of our favorite celebrities’ sexualities?
Billie Eilish is not the only celebrity to have been faced with this kind of scrutiny. Disney star and musician, Joshua Bassett has had his fair share of discourse over who he is attracted to. In a now-deleted Instagram post, Bassett stated “My entire life people have told me my sexuality. People have shamed me for things they know nothing about. I want to say thank you to those of you who stand for love and acceptance…It’s OK to still be figuring out who you are. Life’s too short to let ignorance and hatred win. I choose love.” However, after Bassett posted a video of his baptism, fans have questioned whether or not he still identifies as a part of the LGBTQ+ community. Despite fans’ questions, a bigger question needs to be raised… Why does it matter?
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WHAT ARE PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS?
As fans, we feel a special connection to our favorite celebrities. We feel as if we get to know them through their art, song lyrics speak to us and make us feel like we are less alone. Their acting performances feel less and less like a performance and more like a glimpse into who they are. However, at the end of the day, we do not know our favorite celebrities personally. Though it may feel like we are close with these figures and know them, due to the amount of content we receive and the vulnerability that comes with creating such art, we do not know what happens behind closed doors.
The National Register of Health Service Psychologists defines parasocial relationships as “one-sided relationships, where one person extends emotional energy, interest and time, and the other party, the persona, is completely unaware of the other’s existence. Parasocial relationships are most common with celebrities, organizations (such as sports teams) or television stars.” This means that when you decide to become invested in a celebrity and their life outside of their art, you begin a parasocial relationship with them. Granted, not all parasocial relationships are necessarily bad or wrong. Parasocial relationships can be good when they are demonstrated healthily. For example, creating a fan page for your favorite actor, or going to your favorite artist’s concert are healthy ways to experience a parasocial relationship. However, when engaging in an activity that can harm the figure or yourself, this is when a parasocial relationship can become unhealthy.
Commenting on anyone’s sexual preferences is never okay in any sense. Though it may feel that celebrities are too far away or just plain unreal, they are still real-life people. Celebrities have thoughts and feelings and they mess up or change their minds just like we do every day. Celebrities are not figures. They are people. Plain and simple. A good rule of thumb is if you wouldn’t say something about someone you know in real life, don’t say it or comment it in a celebrity setting.
THE NITTY-GRITTY DETAILS
Sexuality is a spectrum, and one’s sexuality can change throughout time. What you identify with a few years ago can change as you grow older and learn your preferences. Even with this, sometimes, a label does not exactly fit what you feel is your sexuality, or you might not be sure of what your label may be. Each of these experiences is completely valid and does not make one more or less of a member of the LGBTQ+ community.
Reneé Rapp is a prime example of a celebrity who has changed their identity over time. In the ‘Call Her Daddy’ podcast, Rapp recalls when she was unsure about her bisexual label, as family and friends would ask her to “pick a side”. Earlier this year, Rapp came out as a lesbian in a Hollywood Reporter interview, stating “It is the coolest thing ever because I’ve only recently started referring to myself as a lesbian, and I’ve only recently been in a relationship where I’m like, ‘Yeah, I’m a lesbian for sure,’”
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Rapp’s coming out was well-received in both contexts, as many of her fans are a part of the LGBTQ+ community. However, in the sense of Joshua Bassett’s coming out, fans wanted to know the exact label, even questioning if he was lying about ever being attracted to women in the first place. This should not matter. While fans want to know the details about a celebrity’s life, after learning so much from the places in which a celebrity chooses to be vulnerable, fans are not entitled to a list of every person their favorite figure has ever been attracted to. The way a celebrity identifies does not change the trajectory of our day-to-day lives. That is their business and their business alone.
NONE OF OUR BUSINESS
In a world where we feel closer than ever to our favorite stars, it becomes increasingly important to remember how to be a fan. While it may feel important in the moment to know the details of a celebrity’s life, for us to feel closer to the celebrity culture, it really isn’t something that we need to know. Everyone is entitled to privacy in their own right, and celebrities aren’t any different. They should be able to choose the areas in their life to be vulnerable and open, and the areas where they can be private. As celebrity culture changes more and more every day, we must remember to respect the lives of those who we admire and maintain a healthy parasocial relationship with our favorite artists.
By Abigail Johnson
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Author
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Abigail Johnson is a New York City-based writing intern, screenwriter, actor, and director. Her main focus is women in the entertainment industry and authenticity, especially advocating for diverse storytelling and new perspectives. Abigail loves discovering indie films that may not be seen in a traditional movie theatre, as well as listening to pop music and trying to find the next big artist. Abigail connects to Hollywood Insider’s values of substance over scandal and focusing on compassion and philosophy in her writing at Hollywood Insider. Utilizing writing for good is the main Hollywood Insider value that Abigail connects with, as her main goal is to use her talents for good.
Abigail Johnson is a New York City-based writing intern, screenwriter, actor, and director. Her main focus is women in the entertainment industry and authenticity, especially advocating for diverse storytelling and new perspectives. Abigail loves discovering indie films that may not be seen in a traditional movie theatre, as well as listening to pop music and trying to find the next big artist. Abigail connects to Hollywood Insider’s values of substance over scandal and focusing on compassion and philosophy in her writing at Hollywood Insider. Utilizing writing for good is the main Hollywood Insider value that Abigail connects with, as her main goal is to use her talents for good.
